Absent
presence

Karachi

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Transcript

Murk

6min 47s single channel audio of compiled whatsapp voice notes.

Translated by Yaminay Nasir Chaudhri

–Third, yes– I want to get my room decorated. Me, since I have arrived here, we have all been in one room- my kids, their studies, my husband is a doctor, his books, they are all in my room. My own things–as a female you know– us Pakistani women have such a fondness for fashion, already our wardrobes are so full of clothes– and then there’s a study table on top of it all too. So it’s not the kind of look that I can imagine a couple to have. For example when we go to a five star hotel, where we get such a nice cool room, clean and tidy. We start to imagine a room just like that. Though, my room is neat, I know, but for one–furniture. Obviously it’s been 10-11 years since my marriage, so I don’t have that “look”. As you know, every two years here, new furniture designs appear. Interior decoration keeps changing. So one wants to do something new and be up to date, but it depends on family and budget. One has to keep all of these things in mind. If I don’t have to worry about the budget at all, then there are lots of designs for beds. There’s a 3D wall decoration (these days) that can be put on the wall behind the bed. In front there should be a long mirror…before, there used to be a fad for proper dressing tables. Now that look is out of date. Now we have a long mirror and next to it drawers all the way down to the ground, so that all our things (as women) can be put inside and on the side we have a mirror to look into also. Our makeup etc., cosmetics and all our things can be secure in there. It will be like this.

Tiles, yes I love white tiles. I hate carpet in the room, except for the centerpiece and door mats. Tiles are a great option. Besides tiles, I prefer marble. I am quite conscious, because white tiles–they are a bit temporary– they get dirty, because you are living in Pakistan not abroad where dirty shoes from outdoors don't come in. You can do the same thing yourself in Pakistan and keep outdoor shoes outside the house, but here you can’t ask someone else to do that. Ok. you know the culture. If you reprimand someone older about wearing outdoor footwear inside the house, that is wrong. So it depends on people’s way of thinking. In other countries there is a different system. I am very conscious, I need my room to be neat. If in this culture I install white tiles in my room, they will not remain the same. However, if we had the same hygiene as followed by other countries then yes I would love white tiles. They cool your eyes. The neatness. I love my room to be white. And I like the typical color of wood for my furniture and doors etc.

Hi, how are you? Yes I would like some changes. Like the dressing table. It is ok to a certain extent. The 3d wallpaper that I mentioned–actually I was busy, it was Diwali (and my schedule is a bit strange). As soon as I am free in the evening I will have pictures for you. And that day I had a little time and did a Google search to find dressing table ideas and I couldn’t find something that completely resembled what I wanted for my room. Something like what I am thinking of customizing for my room right now. Still maybe I will draw a picture of what I want so you have an idea of what I want. I want a full mirror, behind which I want attached drawers and a drawer underneath. How many inches…almost 8-10 inches length of those drawers in which all my kids’ books and bags can be fit. My room will look neat and clean with no sight of their books. For example, right now, their study table is in my room. Two daughters. All their books. You can imagine my state.

Hi, this is looking good. You can include the rug. It is looking good. The chair I am not sure about. I would never put a chair like that in my room. Maybe a chair or divan right next to my bed or if not that then two small wooden chairs with cushions, very stylish, with a glass table in between. That table is such that if someone wants to come and chill in my room, drink tea, too much space doesn’t get occupied. Because the room should be a little empty, there should be a proper sofa if there is space in the room. But this is not my actual room. This is an imaginary room, so maybe we need a sofa. But not so heavy, like this chair. The room should look open and spacious.

If we had rooms of our own

Yaminay Nasir Chaudhri

If we had rooms of our own draws imaginaries of personal space by six Hindu mothers who live in Karachi, a predominantly Muslim, Pakistani metropolis. I asked these women to describe a desired room inside their homes that was designed only for them. The project gathers longings for that ‘room of one’s own’ by Hindu mothers who live in a place that pushes them into the shadows as members of a minority community, as women, and as mothers. My project is sited in the homes of these mothers, where home, assumed to belong to women and often described as ‘women’s domain’, paradoxically leaves little room for them.

The audio and drawings shared here were made in a slow and intimate process of connection facilitated by WhatsApp, between Pakistani women living in Karachi and Guilford, CT (Hindu in Karachi, Muslim, me, in Guilford). My role as an artist was to listen, edit together, draw and redraw the minutiae of rooms described by these mothers in multiple voice notes until they were happy with my final iterations of pencil on paper. The drawings were then shipped and hand delivered to the mothers in Karachi by Ammara and Suman.

Compiled on our website, you will find the edited voice notes, the final drawings, and the documentation of those drawings in their intended homes photographed by the mothers in Karachi.

Listening to and drawing these imaginary rooms defined a process of making space for the distinct desires of caregiving women. It was an opportunity to build solidarity with marginal figures who disappear both behind the many facades of Karachi, and beneath the endless labors of homemaking. It was also a reflection on Virginia Woolf’s well known 1929 essay, that seems valid 96 years later, pointing to the absences and inequities, even within domestic space, which persist to this day. To draw the minutiae of a room of one’s own then is an exercise in solidarity; as we seek traces of ourselves in our imaginary rooms, we also find them in the desires and longings of others.